Leinigen vs the Ants

Well, not as epic a battle, but the battle goes on.
Tonight, WG poked her head into the garage. Hurry Honey, come quick! There is a rat at the bird feeder!”
I dropped what I was working on, grabbed a broom(I don’t own a shotgun, but kinda wished I did.) I follow her into the backyard and in the gathering twilight, I can see the little rat at the bird feeder, at the other corner of our yard.
The rat sees us and jumps down into the flower bed. As I rush over there, deadly broom in hand, I can hear WG. “Get a shovel.”
“No Time, I want to kill the bastard.”

I started poking around, hoping to scare it out so I can whack it. WG grabs a heavy shovel and moves to the vegetable garden. In the gloom at the base of the fence, I see movement and poke at something.
‘I saw something on this side. “ She yells. I move around the pond and poke among the herbs. I see some movement further down and turn.
Two of the little bastards go running up the fence post, sixteen feet from me! Once on the top of the fence, one runs away from me and one runs towards me! I cock the broom behind me and watch as the little gray shape bears down one me. He is at eye level and I can see his little beady black eyes.
Just as he got abreast of me and swung the broom and was gratified to feel a squishy thump!
As he fell to the ground I yelled out to WG. “I thumped him!” And I struck again and the gray lump on the ground moved and I missed. The little shit then scampered up the orange tree and vanished.

And the Tommy dog arrived to see what was going on. Definitely not a rat dog!

I couldn’t see anything in the orange tree as it was getting darker. WG came up to me, still holding her shovel. “I figure, place three traps. One there, there and there.”
“Yes, that should cover it.”
“Do you think the birds might set them off?”
“I don’t think so.”
“What about the squirrels?”
I shrugged.
“I don’t worry about them much either. I don’t want to hurt them, but I hate rats!”
“I wish I had a pellet pistol. But I might not have been able to shoot fast enough.”
“Get the little shovel and keep it out. It’s lighter and you may be able to do more damage next time.”

So we go back inside, the excitement of the moment gone. Tomorrow, buy more traps.

I can only hope that somewhere out there, there is a rat scurrying around with a pronounced limp.

And I am sure that no one but my older brother even know who Leiningen was.