You Can't Fool Me

Saturday
So I go downstairs to have lunch at the bar yesterday. It’s nicer there, TV screens, maybe a chance to chat with the bartender there.

I grabbed a seat at the bar, there was a lady sitting at a table to my left; otherwise the place is empty. I ordered a Sam Adams and a sandwich.
While I was eating, two ladies come in and sat down across from me!
Now this is a bar in the center of the room, so there are places to sit all the way around. And yet the two ladies sit directly across from me.

Now let me describe them. Both are in their mid thirties. The brown-haired woman is good looking,. Her blonde companion is, well, let’s just say she hurts the eyes a little, just to look at her. Border-line ugly.

Now I know what they are doing. When you look at them, your eyes have to go to the nice looking one. It’s a setup, just to put all the attention on one person. But you can’t fool me! I know it’s a setup. I know that it is designed to lure a guy by himself, to make eye contact, smile, approach. And she will be approachable. We’ll buy each other drinks and the ugly one will quietly disappear. Then, when she thinks I have loosened up enough, she’ll invite me back to her room.
And if I were to go there, I would maybe get three steps into the room, and the ugly one will come out of the bathroom, grab me from behind and hold a chloroform soaked rag over my face, knocking me unconscious.

Within the hour, a van will pull up behind the hotel and two burly guys will collect the body. Within hours, my parts will have been surgically removed and winging their war to rich organ recipients around the country.

They can’t fool me and I did not make eye contact.