Sunday, July 27, 2008
Never Gonna Fall in Love Again
Meet new people, train new people, keep myself busy and pay as much attention to my Chickadee as I could
And I got through those two weeks without a problem until Thursday afternoon when it was time to leave for my flight home. I went to give Chickadee a hug goodbye and she said, “I guess this is goodbye forever.”
Damn! She didn’t have to say that!
“No my friend. The next time I am out here, we will meet for dinner.”
“We will?”
“Yes, just like Skinner, I will make time for you.”
I made it outside, to the car, before my eyes got wet.
A month later, at the end of June, I was lucky, for there were over a thousand fires burning around the state and the air was full of smoke for a week. It was Chickadee’s last day and I called her on the phone to say goodbye. Then I went outside to think. The smoke in the air was good and thick. If Wonder-Girl asked why my eyes were watering, I could say it was the smoke in the air.
I’ll go through this all again, when Office-Jewish-Mother has her last day. And that is almost the last of them. All I have left are newbies and they are six thousand miles away. It will be hard to miss them as much since the ocean keeps us from getting too close.
Yes, keep telling yourself these lies and the next time will be easier.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
High Bridge Campground
Monday, June 30, 2008
The Tail of the Horny Bitch
Molly is very much a beagle, including some early morning howls to wake us up. Of course, if we forget to close the dog gate, Tommy leads Molly into the back of the house to check on us.
Just after we got Molly, we took her to the Vet for a checkup. The Vet said he could not see a scar on Molly’s stomach, so he does not think she was spayed. We ask some questions about what to look for since we have never had a fertile dog before, much less a female.
Two days later, little Molly dog begins to leave little drops of blood here and there.
The bitch is in heat!
So we get dog diapers for her and wait for the hordes of male dogs to start scaling the walls.
Poor, poor Tommy dog! It’s bad enough that this little three-year-old pint-sized dog wants to play all the time; now she wants to PLAY!
Molly will bark at Tommy to get his attention. Then she will paw at this chest or shoulder. Then she slides up next to him and bumps her butt against his. It’s like she is signaling, ‘Climb aboard big boy and I’ll give you a ride!’
Tommy is fixed and couldn’t care less.
Molly won’t take no for an answer! She will bite at his ears, his chest. She’ll mount him from behind, she’ll get on his head and hump on it.
When Tommy has had enough, he will ‘talk’ to Molly (he has a pretty good bark on him) and she leaves him alone for a while.
And half an hour later they are at it again.
We have two more weeks of this fun, then we can get the horny little girl ‘fixed’.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Duckling Tails
Make way for ducklings.
While I was back east, we took a tour of Boston, via the Freedom Trail.
My Boss and his M’ad friend lead the tour, with-
Two young ladies from China,
Three young guys fro Costa Rica
And five young ladies from Cebu. (okay, the M’ad friend is from Cebu too, but it’s my story and I get to tell it my way.)
So, it was while we were trying to cross a street and the Cebuanos were dawdling, that I tried to hurry them along and said, ‘Come on…Come on…’ and they the perfect name came to me! “Come on DUCKLINGS!” I said in a loud voice.
Amidst laughs and giggle, the ladies hurried across the street.
And so they became The Ducklings. It fit so well, since the story, ‘Make way for Ducklings’ takes place around the Boston Public gardens, where we started our trip.
(if you want to know more, look here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Make_Way_for_Ducklings)
Amusing how one of them asked me, “Why not ‘chicks’?” I know she meant, as in cute, young thing.’ (which she is, but I digress)
I had to explain how ‘chick’ had acquired a bad connotation, as in ‘you can’t do that, you’re just a chick.’
No one uses ‘Duckling’ and it is cute enough.
So Warty has his Ducklings now.
One of them called me ‘Mother Goose’, so I had to correct her and say it should be ‘Father Goose.’ Which made me immediately think of the Cary Grant movie(it’s a fun movie.)
So, that’s the duckling tale.
Molly reactions
"If you wanted a beagle you should have just told me. I'd have packed Buddy up within the hour!"
My son, who owns Enzo (aka the devil dog) a Jack Russel terrier with no off switch said
"She is VERY cute...and looks to be well behaved...want to trade??? No really, I'll pay you!"
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
A new, the nine billion names of dog.

(sure, only older brother recognizes the title)
Molly Bolt
(bolts out the door)
Molybdenum grease (Yes, Molly grease. Like greased lightning)
A wiggle butt and a wag tail pup.
A Miss Creant
Like any beagle, we know she is up to no good.
Enough silliness-
So the update on the new dog is that Molly the 'no longer fertile beagle' (no, really, we have a certificate from the vet stating that she had been spayed)is doing just fine and is adapting well to her new house.
She knows a lot of commands and obeys them (mostly).
We took her to the vet last Monday, for a check up and have her ear looked at. The vet could not find a scar on her stomach, so he could not confirm that she had been spayed.
Wednesday, Molly went into heat. She is now wearing a little diaper to keep from leaving little blood spots everywhere.
Once she is no longer in heat, we will have her spayed.
With luck, we will be able to keep her safe until she is no longer fertile
Monday, June 16, 2008
Such ugly green eyes
Neither one of you looks good with green eyes.
You need not be so possessive. Are you not already one of my favorites?
Or am I wasting my breath, because I feel you'll never read this.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
New Addition.

We went to one of the local dog rescue places, to look for a new dog for Wonder-Girl. She wanted a smaller dog, maybe like a pug.
Our fifty-five pound Tommy is too large for WG to lift into the car.
So we heard of a Puggle that was available, but overweight. Now a Puggle is a Pug-Beagle mix. Maybe not as many health problems as a full pug, with that goofy looking smashed face. And frankly, I just don’t like pugs.
We got there and the Puggle seemed okay, but not a lot of personality. He was a little bigger than Tommy and very fat! But even if he lost weight, he would still be bigger than Tommy.
And then they let the little three-year-old beagle out of the kennel. She immediately warmed up to Tommy and started following him all around the yard.
Okay, so Molly seems to have chosen Tommy and they both got along very well. WG was torn between both dogs, mostly worried that the beagle would easily be adopted and the Puggle wouldn’t. But the shelter people assured WG that they do not have the dogs put down and always find homes for them.
So we took the beagle, Molly. (Okay, they would have thrown in the Puggle for a few more dollars, but two dogs are plenty.)
And come on, a beagle is so much better looking than a pug. Plus beagles were bred to do something. Pugs were bred to just be lap dogs. Kinda hard for a guy to walk a pug and keep his dignity
Molly has made herself at home and follows commands that Tommy already knows. So despite here being found as a stray, she did have a family that took care of her and worked with her.
She is slowly settling into the household routine and we shall see. But I think she will work out well.
And WG is very pleased with the gift I got her and the Tommy dog helped pick out!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Dealing with the Nubies
It is so hard to train them, especially since their ages range from 24? to 33?. No, I have not asked their ages, that can be considered rude.
But I do want you to be aware, that I am listening to every word you say, tasting the sound, listening to the feel, playing with the phrases you utter.
And always thinking of their other meanings, what has not been said, looking for a way to make something funny.
And when I say things, at times I am leaving an opening for one of you to say something, if you listen well enough.
You will get points if you catch on faster than others.
Like last night, when we were driving back from dinner and I said that with all of these pretty ladies, the hard part was not playing favorites.
L2 said, “So, you admit that we are all pretty.”
I could not see her, but I will bet she was smiling. Nice catch L2 and nicely played. You get a Ganda point for that one.
Sleeping with my FB
But this year DeepT cannot make it. And FB’s son won’t be coming. So there will be an extra bed available in Fishing Buddy’s trailer.
(Oh, and I’ll bet you thought FB had a different meaning? You have a dirty mind!)
The amusing thing is that I have teased my friends about being wimps because they sleep in a trailer, instead of a tent, and now I will be one of the wimps! :-)
There response is to say that if I had been there two years ago, when it snowed, that I would have thought differently.
But alas, two years ago I missed the snow. I was forced, (forced I say) to spend two weeks in the Philippines. Sadly, business trips sometimes interfere with your life.
(of course we will ignore the truth. That I was made to spend time with my friends in Cebu. Made to spend time with pretty young ladies.
Look, this is MY story and I will omit, or bend, the truth to fit how I want the story to sound.)
So this year, I will find out what luxury camping is like.
Clouds are gathering
However, when I opened my email this morning, there was a note from my high school girlfriend and she mentioned that her husband was in the hospital and she would know more on Monday.
From the tone of the note, there has been some type of problem for a little while. And It does not sound good.
Maybe I am reading more into the email that I should, but since she is my oldest and dearest friend, I am worried.
You don’t like to see friends sad.
Especially when there really isn’t much you can do to cheer them up.
It darkened an otherwise sunny day
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Escape to X Minus One leaves me in Suspense
And then I realized that during the long boring drive to and from work, I could be listening to my collection of old radio shows from the forties and fifties!
As most of you do not know; before the invention of television, people listened to the radio for their entertainment. In some respects, it was and still is better, simply because you imagine how things look. This is especially true of Horror and Sci-Fi. Your imagination is always better than the image you see on TV or in the movies. Now these are not ‘books on tape’ being read by someone; these are dramas with multiple actors, sound effects, music.
Escape opened with these lines-
Tired of the everyday grind?
Ever dream of a life of romantic adventure?
Want to get away from it all?
We offer you ... ESCAPE!
And that is precisely what OTR shows enables me to do, to escape.
Right now I am halfway through my collection of X Minus One. It is a series of Sci-Fi radio dramatizations from the mid-fifties.
So I get in my truck, listen to the morning new for a few minutes, then I select the next show on my iPod and lose myself for the next thirty minutes
“Countdown for blastoff... X minus five, four, three, two, X minus one... Fire! From the far horizons of the unknown come transcribed tales of new dimensions in time and space. These are stories of the future; adventures in which you'll live in a million could-be years on a thousand may-be worlds”.
And all of our petty problem go away.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Bees Needs

A few weeks ago some bees gathered in our tree out front. They were not more than eight feet off the ground.
I have dealt with bee swarms when I was young, but since Wonder-Girl is allergic to their stings, I could not capture and keep them.
So I called the local beekeeper group and they would come and get them the next day.
And the guy wanted $100. I told him that the web site states the charges are $50. He agreed to the $50 and came and got them the next day.
Now I don’t mind a small fee, but $50 seems high. Especially since they were in a tree and easily collected. So I had to pay the guy and he gets a free swarm. Bees sell for about $85.
If they were stuck in a wall, maybe I would pay. (okay, if they were stuck in a wall, I would use my Chlordane.) But if the swarm comes back next year and the guy says it’s $100. Then I will tell him it is too high. He can either come and get them for free, or I will wait until late at night, dump them into a box and drive them to the edge of town and leave them there.
The bees will be fine.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Quotes from Bjorn....
Things I've Heard….
I have the habit of collecting memorable quotes at work. The only criteria I use is that the quote has to be something that was not meant to be funny when it was said. I have collected quite of few of these quotes over the last few years. All of these quotes were said quite innocently and the humor only came after the statements had sunken in for a few seconds. Usually, the person who said it laughed the hardest because they had no idea what they had just said.
Although many of these quotes sound sexual, I can assure you that almost all of them refer to some part of a system or to a tool of some sort. Whenever I heard one of these, I would write it down in my Newton. (See? It was good for something!) It was my way of capturing the fun we have around here. This is the part I'll miss the most about working here. Now that I'm leaving, I'd like to pass them all on to you as my way of thanking you all for making the last 2 1/2 years so fun for me. I'll definitely miss you all.
Bjorn J.
Sue H.
Quit playing with my springs!
Where's our rubber?
We need some little dikes... go see Paula.
Are you blowing or sucking?
I can't get this hose into the hole.
The last time I saw it, it was in your slot.
Does anyone have Vaseline in one of their little compartments?
I've got trouble down there in the fudge pipe.
I've got rusty nipples.
Any time you put something in front him he grabs it and sticks it.
You can't put it in the other hole.
Do you have any of those shaved nuts?
Are you in charge of nipples?
Paula N.
I'm so sticky!
I want bigger ones.
Let's go play Royster.
Tony T.
I need a bigger tool.
Richard D-M.
I got excited and forgot to wrap the tip.
I've got another 10 inches
Bjorn J.
He's walking around with a lot of little parts.
Steve D.
Sausage tastes good!
Royster M.
Hey Sue! Do you have a 3/8" nipple?
Ruth M.
Monica has some stuck pins.
Hugo Q.
I'm looking for 69... 1888-2-069
Richard 0.
I don't like to touch your stuff unless you are aware of it.
Dan P.
I like that little Wally
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
A little pain, a little blood
About five–four, slim, long brown hair. Large eyes, a nice smile and a pleasant face. More pleasant looking than pretty. The type that is more attractive when she smiles than anyone with just a pretty face. Perhaps about thirty-five and unmarried.
It wasn’t until today, when I shook her hand and looked her in the eyes, that I realized why I liked her. She reminds me of Patch of Gravel. (similar handshake too)
And she seemed pleased to see me, genuinely please to see me.
And here is where I pause in the tale, trying to figure out how much more I should mislead you.
So let's stick to the facts.
Yes, it seemed odd that she was pleased to see. Doctors just see patients. I was one of many. None the less, she did seem pleased to see me, But I digress.
Anyway, she checked the spot on my hand where the mole was removed and said it looked like it was healing well. Still, she seemed concerned. She explained that even though the edges of the biopsy was negative(the center was positive), there was a chance the lab tech didn’t see everything and she was concerned with the lab technicians choice of terms in his description of the non-invasiveness of the skin cancer.
She talked about how the next step would be to pull up the skin and cut off an oval, then stitch it up. If that was needed. She said she wanted to recheck my hand in the near future, but she talked like she wanted to for sure do some more cutting.
We talked about a few other things involved in the treatment and agreed that I would schedule another appointment in six months.
Then she got out the liquid nitrogen and froze the shit out of the site where the mole had been removed. No, I am not exaggerating! There is a half-inch blister on the back of my hand right now. (yes, it burns.)
I wasn’t very concerned with how eager she is to see me again and maybe schedule a surgery until she emptied the liquid nitrogen bottle on my hand.
Okay, so I exaggerate just a little. Just like I might be exaggerating and misleading you when I say that she wants to see me again.
But she seemed to go overboard with the freezing like she felt something was wrong.
So I have a date to see her again in six months. Sure, you say, I don’t mind seeing her again because she is an attractive young woman and very personable.
But I fear there will be a little more pain next time.
And I fear there will be blood.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
It’s getting crowded here.
There is
Who I am.
Who I think I am
Who you think I am.
Who you are.
Who you think you are,
Who I think you are.
I would like to add, that with the advent of the internet and social networks, perhaps we can add two more?
Who I pretend to be.
Who you pretend to be.
It may turn out that I am not really who I think I am. But I suppose it's okay, as long as I remain who you think I should be.
Monday, March 24, 2008
The woman who wasn't there
At your face, but you weren't there.
You weren't there again today.
I wonder why you went away?
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Betty’s little sister.
Slim, petite; just like Betty. But long brown hair and brown eyes.
Reese Witherspoon looks a little like Betty, but Betty is so much better looking!
Now you know what I have written about Betty look-a-likes. (If not, then get your lazy ass in gear and read! Or maybe I should say, get your eyes in gear? But I digress.)
I am kind of in luck, for of the three tellers, the BLA will wait on me. I say kinda, because I want to stare at her face, study it, but I know it will creep her out. So I chat with her as I do my business. Keep my eyes away from her or on her eyes.
Yes, she looks so much like Betty. Same smile, same sparkle in her eyes. I say ‘little sister’ because she looks like Betty did fifteen years ago.
I wonder if Betty needs parts again?
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Was it something I said?
It’s just not been a good five months, but that’s no excuse not to say hi.
I just wonder what happened to her?
I can only hope that she has abandoned the virtual world because she has found something better in the real world.
Friday, February 22, 2008
A close Shave
So the dermy comes in, (a rather nice looking young doctor. I figured she was mid-thirties. But I digress :-), she takes one look at the mole and says it has to come off.
“Shave?” Says the not nearly as pretty nurse.
“Yes.”
So they set things up, take measurements and a picture (I don’t know why they need a picture.)
The Doc sits down at the terminal and enters the info about the mole. “We’ll have to have a biopsy”. She says.
“I expected that. It’s pretty nasty looking.”
“If the results are positive, then you’ll have to come back.”
“Yes, because you’ll have ‘trench work’ to do.”
She stopped typing for a second and I could see her thinking. Rolling the phrase around in her head, feeling how it tasted. Then she smiled just a little. “‘Trench work’, I like that. It will require stitches.” And she resumed typing.
And I knew I had her. She liked my odd sense of humor and she understood it. She was like me in some strange way.
She turned to me, “Just the mole on the hand?”
“No, there is a large mole/skin tag just below my belt line, here in front.”
“Does it bother you?”
“I’ve caught it with my fingernail a few times and torn it when I got undressed.”
“Let me see.”
I pushed the waistline of my jeans down an inch or so and she could see it. (No, I don’t take my pants off for just anyone, even an attractive young doctor with a good sense of humor!)
“We’ll freeze it.” She said.
(Yes, I know what you’re going to say; of course I didn’t want to take my pants off. I didn’t want her to cut off the wrong little odd piece of skin! Well, you can just shut up, smart-ass.)
A few blasts of liquid nitrogen and then it was time for the slice and dice.
A little alcohol, a couple of pricks with the needle and the back of my hand was numb. Then the Doc picked up a thin piece of metal between her thumb and forefinger and it bent into a U-shape.
“That looks like half of an old-fashioned safety razor.”
“It is.”
“Good to see they still have a use for them.”
She smiled a little, blocked my view with a piece of gauze and shaved the mole off .
Neat, smooth, practiced. She dumped the lump of flesh into the sample bottle the nurse held and then started dabbing the wound to staunch the flow of blood.
She looked up at me. “Do you take aspirin?”
“Yes.”
“Well, it’s working.” And she smiled a little.
Yes, a good sense of humor. Too bad she is a dermy, not a GP. If she were a GP, I’d change doctors right away. And it’s not just because she is good looking. She has a sense of humor. My current GP doesn’t have one.
She finally got the blood to slow and put a large bandage over the 3/8 inch(9.5mm) hole she had scooped out of my hand.
After I got the wound care instructions and a bag of antiseptics and bandages, I was done.
Now I have those classic conflicted feelings. To see the nice pretty doctor again would be a good thing. But if I go back to her office, it will be because the mole was cancerous and she will have to carve a trench in my hand.
I am not looking forward to that.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Imaginary Mistress
It’s funny how an antidepressant is supposed to help reduce the cravings. I guess since I do not notice a change in the way I feel, I was never depressed :-)
But the cravings for a cigarette are still there, at times. When we were driving over to visit my Step-mom on Sunday, Wonder-Girl turned to me and said, “You seem to be doing pretty well. Do you still feel the cravings?”
“They come and go. Right now, I could really, really, really use a cigarette. It’s like…
Well it’s like lying next to a naked twenty-year-old syphilitic mistress.
You want to touch her and it would be so easy, but you also know that every time you touch her, your life gets shorter. And there is a good chance it can get drastically shorter.”
Wonder-Girl smiled. “That’s a pretty good way of thinking of it.”
We drove in silence for a while.
So everywhere I go, my ‘Naked twenty-year-old syphilitic mistress’ is right beside me. She seems so alluring and it would be so easy to reach out and touch her.
Feel her in my hands, feel her on my lips. Enjoy the sensation of drawing her essence into my lungs, her smell, what it does to my head.
And from what people at the clinic told me, that she will be always by my side. And for the rest of my life, I will have to constantly say ‘No’. Resisting her.
Forever.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Insubstantial Beings
What happens if he encounters the Ethereal Miss, somewhere in the aether?
Would their insubstantialness merge into one being?
So that when she licks her lips, he can taste her.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
The naughty time of the year.
And you get your gifts on the 25th, because you have been good.
And the year starts on the first of January.
Doesn’t that leave six full days to be naughty and it doesn’t count?
Like a werewolf waiting for the full moon, does the Bad Warty come out this time of the year?
Sleeping with Mina.
I ponder the two titles each day, as I drive down the freeway at seventy miles per hour. Best to think of the titles, not of where I am going or where I have come from.
“You okay?” Wonder Girl says from the passenger seat.
“Yes, I’m okay.” I lie. “You okay?”
“I’m okay.” She might be lying also. That’s okay.
Which title should I use? I wonder as I slip into ‘Walter Mitty mode.’
Oh, I am sure that some drama queen will read it and think ‘OMG and he’s married!’. Willow would read it and say something like, ‘Oh stop pulling my leg Warty, I am tall enough already!’ Willow knows me well.
Jive-Daughter might say, ‘It’s okay, I wouldn’t mind being a few inches taller.’
Not sure how well JD she knows me.
So while we drive back and forth to the hospital, I think of other things. Anything but my dad lying in the hospital. I have to keep my eyes clear and watch the road. There is no time for tears.
For over the last few days, we have come to understand what lies ahead for my dad and how the end will come soon.
And I have trouble sleeping.
So as I snuggle up to my warm wife, I put my thoughts elsewhere. Since we know how hard it can be to calm your thoughts and sleep. So instead of trying not to think of something, I learned a long time ago to worry a story.
I’ll lie there and go over and over a scene. Tweak the dialog, imagine what the characters look like. Play the scene through and change how they act. Last summer I watched as an alien prepared to destroy a planet. Recently, I have toyed with how Carric(Inky) would save Cynthia(Sucky). But as I work on chapter four of the Inky-Sucky saga I realized that I really don’t want to drag Mina into it. For Mina Harker (You should know who she is if you have read the classics. Okay, google her name.) brings a whole mess of myth into the stories that I don’t want to use.
But I still have the scene that I will never use. And now I can use it to put myself to sleep.
So every night, for the last month or so, I go to bed with Mina, and Mina helps me sleep.
--
The Mina Scene
Not to be used in the Inky – Sucky saga
By G.W. Hogg
Carric paused across the street from bar, ‘Mina’s place’. He was full of trepidations about the upcoming meeting with Mina. The last time he encountered her, he had the upper hand. Today might be different.
He shrugged, it had to be done to save Sucky. He dashed across the dark street.
Pushing through the Bar’s heavy front door, he was surprised to find the bar was well lit. Booths lined the two walls on either side of him, upholstered in red leather. There were flowers on the tables and well-maintained plants hanging from the ceiling. Small tables filled the space between the walls and the long bar against the right wall. Women of all types were seated in groups in the booths and tables.
As he walked to the bar, the patrons watched him. He was not wanted here he knew, but that was not his worry.
He slid onto one of the bar stools and the young woman behind the bar put down the glass she was drying and walked over to him.
“Hi. Do you know where you are?”
Carric glanced around before replying. “Sure. I am in a quiet neighborhood bar. A place where people accept you for who you are, not judge you for what you are. A place where a person can enjoy the quiet company of friends, or enjoy a cold beer and be left alone.”
The bartender frowned for a moment. “Well, you summed us up pretty well. What can I get you?”
“A Harpoon IPA would be good.”
“Okay, coming right up.”
Carric watched her as she poured the beer from the tap. She was a handsome young woman, but a little too masculine for his tastes. Not that it mattered. This was not a place to try for a pickup.
The bartender came back with the cold mug of beer and set it down in front of him. He fished out a twenty and placed it on the counter. He took a sip of the beer, it was good and cold and with the nice extra bite of hops that he liked.
“If you don’t mind my asking, why are you here?”
Carric put the mug down before answering. “Besides knowing that I’ll be left alone here, I was hoping to chat with Mina.”
“You a friend of hers?” The bartender looked skeptical.
“Ah…more of an acquaintance than a friend. I ran into her years ago. I heard she had a nice little bar here in town and I thought I’d stop in and say hello.”
“I think there is something more.”
“Maybe. Is she here?”
“Yes, in the back room.”
“Can you ask her to come out? I’d like to say hello.”
“Sure.” She still looked skeptical, but she walked to the end of the bar and disappeared through the doorway.
While she was gone, several women came in and sat down at the bar, blocking Carric’s view of the doorway. He continued to sip his beer until he saw the bartender return.
“I didn’t get his name, but he seems okay.” She said as stopped in front of Carric.
Carric leaned forward just as Mina turned.
“You!” Mina exclaimed as she recognized him. Her hand lashed out and she grabbed his neck and squeezed. It was like a large pair of pump pliers squeezing his neck and trying to crush it. Carric tensed his neck muscles and Mina felt as if she was now holding a large iron pipe. He watched as her eyes changed from surprise to something darker. The darkness spread around her eyes until it was a swirling dark abyss. Carric smiled, then blinked to clear his vision and her eyes were suddenly their normal dark gray.
“Your powers won’t work against me Mina, but you know that from our last encounter. Stop trying to bend me to your will and release my neck.”
“You have some nerve showing your face in my bar.”
“Release me!”
“Or what?”
“Or I will cast such a glamour on you that you will strip your clothes off, crawl onto your bar and beg me to take you!”
“You wouldn’t”
“Remember what I did to you last time we met?”
Mina slowly released him and glared. “I hate you!”
Carric smiled. “No you don’t. You are just mad at me because I bested you.”
“You took from me!”
“Just as you were going to take from me. It’s just that I took control of you first. That’s what irks you.”
“You’re a bastard.”
“And you were going to be a bitch.”
She sighed and her shoulders relaxed. “Yes, you’re right.”
“Now. Why don’t you join me in a booth. I have a proposition for you. Something that can benefit us both.”
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Stones
Only a little left to do, 6-8 hours? Can my knees take it?
They have to, for there is no other to do the work. (WG’s knees can’t.)
All the tools are lined up, the mortar is mixed. I start.
I kneel next to the blue-gray flagstones, all carefully fitted, and move them out of the way.
Several scoops of mortar, smooth it, place the stone. Tap, adjust, level, ready for the next stone.
Wince
My knees complained from the first moment I knelt. The left one screams at me if I twist it too far. The three Motrin I took with breakfast only dull the screams a little. The four I’ll take with lunch will keep the bastard quiet.
Tap, adjust, level, ready for the next stone.
Wince.
But it is really okay. The aches that start in my knees make me forget my other aches. No time to think about what might have happened at the convention in Vegas, what she might have done. You know that some drama-queen saw them together, put two and two together and came up with eight.
As word spread from DQ to DQ, the drama increased.
I shift my focus back to what I am doing. When you swing a rock hammer, you have to pay attention. Thumbs don’t take kindly to being whacked by a sharp edged hammer. And who wants bloodstains on the rocks?
So I ignore the lies I heard and concentrate on the stones and my complaining knee.
And maybe I’ll forget about the phone too.
Forget that I am hoping for good news from the hospital.
Forget that I am dreading the bad news.
Tap, adjust, level, ready for the next stone.
Wince.
Two days later, my knees don’t bother me much and work keeps me occupied. But the coming phone call looms.
So I will laugh and flirt with you when I see you on IM. Maybe it brightens my mood a little, but I will not darken yours. So I will lie and tell you all is well. That’s the nice thing about IM, no one can see my face. I can easily pretend that I am doing okay.
It’s all about dealing with the next stone.
And the stones are mine alone. So I keep them to myself.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
STORYTIME - Whstler
Some time ago, I was trying to explain to JD why I liked the night. But it’s not just the night, though I prefer the midnight hour. Early mornings are almost as nice, for everything is dark and quiet.
I told her about the opening lines of The Whistler and how I liked it.
All that made me think of a story and here it is.
And yes JD, I have been thinking about a story based on what you said you wanted. I think I have it thought out. I just have to figure out if I can write it.
GW
By G.W. Hogg
©11-30-07
“I am the Whistler, and I know many things, for I walk by night. I know many strange tales, many secrets hidden in the hearts of men and women who have stepped into the shadows. I know the nameless terrors of which they dare not speak.”
The opening lines from the radio show, ‘The Whistler’
I used to love hearing those lines as they came out of the radio. For I knew that I was about to hear a strange tale of a crime gone wrong.
I still think about the show, as I walk the dark, quiet streets at five in the morning. Foggy mornings are better, as I walk with the dog. You can’t see across the street and the cone of light from the streetlamps makes a wall of white that you can’t see through. In the distance, I can see a figure crossing the street. It’s a dark shadow among other gray shadows. Maybe it’s another early morning walker, or something else?
I always wonder what is going on in the quiet houses, on the next dark street. Am I missing something nefarious that is happening maybe just a block away? Is there a shadow moving in those bushes over there? No, it’s just a cat that my dog wants to chase.
The darkness just before daybreak is okay, for life is returning to the land.
It was different, that night I slipped over the wall of the cemetery. The fog was thick, so I knew that no one could have seen me.
Inside the cemetery, the ground fog was much thicker. It rose off the acres of damp grass and like a gray tide, swept in and covered everything. I dropped into it and was enveloped by the damp darkness.
It was fun at first, as I wandered past the silent gravestones. I had been here with high school friends, but during the last few months, I came here more and more on my own.
It was nice and peaceful, walking through the gray mist. I could see maybe fifteen feet around me. No one to bother me, no one could see me.
I crossed the gravel walkway and entered a small group of trees and bushes. There was a clearing in the middle with a little stone bench. A nice secluded place to sit and think.
Just before I pushed through the bushes, I heard a clink, the clink of metal on stone.
I froze and held my breath. Cemeteries are supposed to be quiet. I moved slowly to my left, where there was a thinning in the bushes. I eased myself into the gap, careful to let the small branches bend and not break. Slowly, I pulled the last few leaves away and peeked into the clearing.
At first, all I could see was the indistinct shapes and shadows in the gray mist. But then I realized there was a man standing near the bench. Leaning against the bench was a shovel. I continued to watch and realized that the man was slowly taking off his shirt. The bench was ten feet from me, the man was five feet beyond that. I was puzzled and thought it would be best if I slunk back into the bushes. Then I saw movement on the ground. The fog cleared for a moment and I realized that the indistinct white shape was a naked woman. Her body was squirming back and forth, but her arms and legs were motionless.
I don’t know why, but I slowly crept out from the bushes towards the bench. I didn’t even have a knife on me, but the shovel was close. The man started humming to himself.
I reached the shovel and carefully wrapped my hands around it, lifting it silently away from the bench. The man was undoing his belt as I lifted the shovel over my head. Two quick steps, the woman’s eye got wide and the man started to turn.
And there was a thunk as shovel smashed into his head. The man collapsed and I paused. The sound was just like on the old radio shows, I thought.
The man started to move and I raised the shovel and hit him again. He moaned and I hit him again. He twitched and had to hit him again, then again and again and again.
I stopped when the shovel handle broke. I stood there, panting. There was a bloody mess at my feet and my head slowly cleared. I looked around and saw the man’s shirt. I picked it up, wiped off the shovel handle and dropped it.
I saw a silvery shape on the ground next to the man and I picked it up. It was knife about a foot long with a strangely decorated handle and sheath.
When I approached the woman on the ground, I realized it was a young girl. She was staked to the ground and squirming frantically against the ropes that held her. The gag in her mouth only allowed a whimper, but her eyes were frightened and pleading.
“It’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you.” I said it as softly as I could. Her eyes said she didn’t believe me. I draped the shirt over her, then unsheathed the knife and carefully cut the ropes that held her legs. She tried to kick me and I rolled out of the way.
As I got up, she was still trying to kick me.
“God damn it! I am trying to help you!” I barked at her.
She still tried to kick me. I sighed. I got up and went to one of her hands. When I cut the rope she rolled over and frantically grabbed at the last rope binding her.
“If you promise not to attack me, I’ll cut the last rope.”
She stopped and looked at me. Then she reached up and pulled the gag out of her mouth.
“Who are you?”
“Just a guy who went for a walk. Now, can I cut the rope without you hitting me?”
“Sh…Sure.”
“Okay.” I walked over and cut the last rope.
She scrambles away from me and I didn’t move. She picked up the shirt and put it on. I didn’t move.
When she realized I wasn’t going to do anything, she buttoned up the shirt.
“Now, let’s get you out of here.”
She nodded, then walked over to the dead man, looked at him for a moment then turned to me. “He was…He was gonna…he was going to…” Then she burst out crying. I walked over to her and put my arms around her and let her cry until the wracking sobs subsided.
She pulled back a little from me. “Thank…you.”
“You are welcome. Can we go?”
“Sure.”
I let her go and she let me go, then she grabbed my hand. I led her out of the clearing, keeping to the wet grass. Gravel would hurt her bare feet.
“Where are your clothes?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know where I am.”
I almost told her, but thought better of it. “I’ll have you out of her in a few minutes.”
“Okay.” And she shivered.
“Are you cold?”
“Yes.”
I let go of her hand and took off my faded green jacket. I helped her into it and she grabbed a hold of my hand again.
The wrought iron front gate was too tall to climb, but the wall next to it had concrete planter boxes that we could climb. I made it to the top of the wall, reached down and pulled her up.
“Just hang on to my arms, like this.” I showed her how to grab my wrists. “I’ll lower you down and then you’ll have to drop the last few feet. Okay?”
“Sure.”
She was light and I held her easily as I lowered her towards the ground.
“Okay, it’s just a few feet. I’ll let go of your wrists. You let go when you’re ready.”
“Okay.”
I let go and then a moment later she let herself drop. She collapsed to one side, then slowly got to her feet. I swung myself over the wall, hung for a second and dropped.
As soon as I stood, she grabbed my hand again.
“Come on, there’s a service station at the end of the block. There’s a pay phone there.”
It was brighter here, with the streetlights and the fog was not as thick. The closed service station was still lit up. No cars on the road at this hour. Bright, quiet and well past midnight.
I fished a dime out of my pocket, put it in the slot and hit the ‘O’.
It rang once and was picked up.
“Operator.”
“Operator, I need the police.”
“One moment please.” Click, ring.
“Police department, Sergeant Buckler.”
“Sergeant, I am at the corner of Valley Road and Main. There is a girl with me who was attacked by some man. And she needs help.”
“Listen kid, this had better not be some joke!”
“There is also a dead man in the cemetery. I had to smash his head in to save the girl.”
“What?”
“There is dead man in the ‘Remembrance grove’.”
“What’s your name kid.”
“That doesn’t matter. Please send someone to help her.” I hung up the phone. And turned to the girl. “The Police should be here soon.”
“You’re leaving me?”
“Not yet, but soon.”
“Why?”
“I am not supposed to be out at night. Mom and Dad would be pissed.”
“But, but, if it wasn’t for you…I’d…”
“Be dead, or worse.”
“Worse…”
“But you’re gonna be okay now, you’re safe.”
“Who are you?”
I heard sirens in the distance, a bunch of them. “Whistler.”
“Whistler? That’s you’re name?”
“It’s close enough.”
“I’m Sue.”
“I am glad I was there to help you Sue.” I gave her a big hug and she held me tightly. The sirens were getting closer. I pulled back from her embrace and let my hands slide down her arms until I held her hands, then I gave her a kiss on the forehead. “You’ll be okay now.”
“How can I thank you?”
“You just did, you’re safe.” I let go of her hands. “I have to go.”
“Your jacket?”
“Keep it, you need it.”
I turned and ran back to the cemetery. She yelled a thank you.
The planter boxes in the front of the cemetery were higher than the ones inside. I easily made it to the top of the wall. I turned and looked back at Sue. Even a block away, I could see her waving to me. I waved back just as four squad cars squealed around the corner. Two of them stopped next to Sue and the other two continued towards me. I waved once more to Sue then dropped back into the cemetery.
I ran for a while through the fog shrouded cemetery, then slowed to a walk. No one would see me now. The lights from the police cars would create a white wall that would also hide me.
I paused at the top of a rise, next to the wall and turned. I could see their lights as they drove up to the grove. Too far away and they weren’t looking for me yet.
As I climbed my tree that hung over the wall, I heard more sirens approaching. Everything was being taken care of, as it should be. I dropped to the wall, then rolled off the wall, hung for a second, then dropped to the ground. A quiet two block stroll and I was home.
I still have the strange knife, locked in a case and kept in the bottom of my desk. Once in a while I take it out and study it. I wonder about the evil that I stopped and wonder about the evil had already been done with it.
I stopped walking at night, but I still like to walk in the darkness of the early morning. The early morning feels better. The sleeping are about to wake and the dead have crawled back into their graves.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
A Bit of Karma Sauce
I’m not sure I believe in karma, but that was a nice thing for her to say.
(I apologize for the terrible pun ahead of time)
But it did make me wonder, what happens to people who have very little karma? Neither good nor bad.
I know what happens if they are a woman. They join a Convent especially set up for women with little or no karma.
They become Karma-light Nuns.
Yes, it is a terrible pun. But I have been trying to figure out how to use that pun for the last five years, ever since I drove past the Convent in Cebu. I knew there was a way to use it and that it would come to me eventually.
And yes, I am sure I just used up some of my good karma.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Thanks for noticing me.
And forgot about it until you got my email yesterday.
I just don’t know why it bothers me so much that you forgot.
I am three thousand miles away, easily overlooked
It’s just a stupid clock.
I don’t need any more clocks.
I’ll just email her back tomorrow, ask her to send it out.
Tell her it’s not big deal and she shouldn’t feel bad about forgetting.
Why make her feel any worse about forgetting?
After all, we are professionals here.
I must be tired today. Yes, that must be it. That’s why it seems to bother me so much.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
An Answer?
A mere whisper.
Something in her eyes.
I hear a quiet warning.
It has bothered me for quite some time, trying to understand what it is. Tough when you really know so little about the person. When you only met them once.
Conversations on IM just don’t show you who the person is.
And then you read something that gives a hint.
It seems she was spending time with someone and she knew she should not. For that someone has a girlfriend.
So she isn’t the one who is cheating, but she is helping someone cheat. Almost as bad.
Now I think I know why I sensed danger in her eyes, in her smile.
I have nothing to fear, for we all know what the song says,
“For nobody would ever want to court a warthog.”
But still, I will be on my guard if I am ever over there again.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Weary
“I am tired of being just a pretty face.”
“You’re so smart and fun to be with.”
“I wish I was pretty.”
I can never win.
Maybe you never realized that your looks were what first attracted me to you.
Who you are, smart and fun to be with, is why I am still your friend.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Huge party
Over fifty people, friends and family!
We never ran out of cold beer.
Hamburgers, Huge hot dog, Turkey burgers and chicken sausages!
WG’s home made macaroni salad! (simply the best!)
Younger brothers special green salad.
Niece’s green salad
Chips, dip, vegetables and WG dill dip.
Shrimp and sauce.
Cake, ice cream, cheese cake.
Too much to eat and drink, too many people to talk to, too much fun!
And then so many people pitched in to clean up afterwards!
Simply the best time.
WG asked everyone to give me 50 of something
So I got fifty-
pennies
2 quarters(50 cents)
dimes
aspirin (really needed that this morning!)
pin wheels (and the confession)
q-tips
tooth picks (and spray starch; don't ask :-)
popsicle sticks with black tape (you figure it out! :-)
cotton balls
bottle caps (dude, you drank all that beers for me?)
suck(ers)
Hershey’s kisses
bottles of beer
erasers
screws
wire nuts
googly eyes
and so many other things!
And a bag full of fifty little bags of M&M's!
Blue and green, the colors of the party
each one said either
'D is 50!'
or
'Happy Birthday!'
Personalized M&M's, is there anything better?
My best friend (filet) drove down to celebrate
(First Office Wife, Hmmm...even if the complany laid her off, she still counts as an office wife, doesn't she?
Our 'adopted' daughter even came! I have not seen her in years!
Chemical Girl confessed that she was the one who had my front yard covered in Pink Flamingos last week! (Is that love or what?)
Okay, so I hate pink flamingos! And she knew that, which is why she did that.
I don't know if I should love her back, or take her over my knee and give her the spanking that she richly deserves!
Noiw, will he give me a '1' next year? :-)
It is so very hard to thank Wonder Girl enough for all her hard work and careful planning! Doing two parties a week apart! She is simple the best!
Friday, September 07, 2007
Reducing the Carbon Footprint
Okay you little bastard, thought you were so slick, sneaking into our yard
and eating our tomatoes!
Not so smart now, are we?
Well, I will not feel guilty about burning so many candles on my birthday cake tomorrow.
Instead of buying carbon credits, I simple removed one little furry creature that produces CO2!
Bwahahaha!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Terrible Lawn Art
So last Saturday we had the first of my big birthday parties. (we are having two, since not every one is available on the first)
Anyway, I wake up to find the following crap on my lawn!
I am fairly certain who did it, and it wasn't Wonder-Girl. I am just afraid of what I'll find this Saturday when I have my second party!
Too Cool Hydrant
Well, I finally finished the old fire hydrant that my brother in law gave us. I was lucky, since Waterman had already done most of the work refurbishing it. He had the hydrant powder coated in a bright red. Cleaned up most of the brass (it was a used hydrant!). So I just had to clean the rest of the paint off the brass and polish it. Putting it together was simple.
The next step was to pour a concrete base and cover the base with stones. Wondergirl got all the stones fitted (some chipping was required) and lined up on a round board. All I had to do was take them off the board and mortar them to the base.
And there it is, sitting nicely in front of the house. (and too far away for most dogs to get to!)
WonderGirl to is so happy!
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to Even-Sister
Happy Birthday to Waterman (my brother in law)
Happy Birthday to Kellita, the Daughter-twin.
Hmmm...my piece of the Birthday pie keeps getting smaller.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Or so I’ve heard
Or maybe what is worse is something leaps out of your mouth and you watch it fly into the crowd and you just can’t stop it!
So last month we were at a party at Prickly and Fishing Buddy’s. It was a fun party.
At one point, we were talking about different drinks and Prickly’s dad said. “What is in a Long Island Ice Tea? There must be four or five different kinds of booze in it.”
“All I know,” I answered, “Is it’s strong enough to knock the skirt off a college coed!”
I suddenly realize what I had said, so I quickly said, “Or so I’ve heard!” (I don’t think anyone believed my denial.)
Too late. Prickly’s mouth just dropped open and she said. “Did you hear what your Husband just said? Somebody whack him!”
Some gal hit me on the arm.
But Deep Throat(long story on his nickname) just raised an eyebrow, thought for a second and said. “I like that!”
I like it too, but I’ll be a little more careful about how I use it!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Stupid Dog
He poked his head in the room, then shook his head, causing his dog tags to rattle. Then he turned around and wandered back down the hall.
It happened again last week.
Now Wonder-girl understands why for years she would wake up and see Tommy’s tail disappear down the hall! The little shit may not know what time it is, but he knows Tommy time! And when it’s Tommy time for a walk, well, he must figure it’s his duty to come wake us up.
Yes, we were warned that border-collies like to keep busy
A Shame
Hmmm…if I am ever in Cebu again, and we are walking down the street together, I know what I’ll do.
I’ll slow down just a little, glance down at her little butt and say.
‘It’s obvious that you folks don’t have any building inspectors here. It’s such a shame that they built the sidewalk so close to your ass!’
I will laugh and she will hit me.
Monday, August 20, 2007
It's not Easy!
Some days, when I have to see the Dentist or Doctor, I get to work from home. It’s either that or take the whole day off. That’s a waste of vacation pay and it just isn’t productive.
And then I hear you say, “Oh you are so lucky Warty, you get to work from home!”
Well, maybe.
Sure, at home, there is some peace and quiet. No bosses looking over your shoulder. No chatting with coworkers over the cubicle walls, distracting you. But you know, it’s not easy, for there are quiet distractions.
For when I work from home, I can usually focus on my work and ignore the little noises I hear, ignore the movement I see out of the corner of my eye. But not always.
For sometimes; when I am staring at the screen, trying to organize my data, figure the formula for the next little piece of data, and WG walks by.
Broad shoulders with a yellow tank top that fits her smooth lines and gentle curves. A slim waist that tapers down just the right amount, to delicious hips that move in a way that can befuddle a man's thoughts. Blue jeans that fit over a nicely rounded tush. They say a wave out on the ocean, could never move that way.
It can’t, for this vision can sweep you away like no other.
The vision passes from sight and I turn back to the screen. ‘Now where was I?’ I try to collect my thoughts.
An email pops up, or an IM message, maybe the phone rings. I can easily take care of each one, then turn my thoughts back to the task at hand. Simple. But remove the vision that can cloud my mind? Difficult.
And back to work, move the numbers, compose the email.
And a voice from the back of the house says, “Oh my goodness, look at the time. I haven’t even showered yet. I’ll be late for work!”
My wife is far enough away not to be a distraction. But there is a little voice whispering in my head now.
‘She is in the shower, wet and ….You know what that means!’
‘Oh shut up!’ I tell myself.
‘It’s okay, you have a license!’
But I am at work, so what if it’s just a desk in the corner of my house. I am at work.
So I push those thoughts out of my head, but I can hear them mumble. ‘Oh, you’re no fun anymore.’
When I get to work from home, at times, it’s just not easy!
Have you no taste?
So it comes as no surprise to hear that since you aren’t getting any in real life, that you have to dream about getting it.
One would expect to hear that your dream had Mr. Hunky-stud-puppy in it. After all, I have seen the way your (and WG’s) eyes light up when he enters the room.
But Please! Having a sex dream about the Warthog? I would think you would want it to be a nice dream! Getting naked with the Warthog would be unpleasant, at best. (I am sure that most of my female friends would agree) At worst, it would be a nightmare! (no need for my readers to agree with that. :-)
Sure, I know most guys would love to hear that some good looking gal was having dreams about him. Especially if it involved wild monkey sex!
I just thought you had better taste.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
The Sargasso Princess.
And now I can use it.
Because the way I see it, she should probably put the white flag above her door and raise her arms in surrender.
You set your course for the furthest shores And you never once looked back
Maybe not go down with the ship, but jump off and swim for another. Better to risk a maelstrom (or three), than the doldrums she seems headed for.
‘For the winds of chance, they will bear me straight’ And you spoke as though you knew
For I fear she will end up as another Sargasso Princess. Stuck in the vast warm sea that never moves.
No wind to billow her sails, no current to move her hull. Never going forward, never back. Forever hoping to reach what she can’t get to.
Better to risk a hurricane’s excitement, than aimless drifting.
One hopes she abandons the ship.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
The lines and the borders are gone
He does the same thing at friends houses. Vinyl floors are the forbidden zone! (well, he is part border-collie)
But now we have no (vinyl) kitchen floor and the imaginary line seems to have vanished!
Tommy keeps coming further and further into the kitchen and then he lies down in the middle of the forbidden zone and watches me make dinner! Today, when I turned from the sink he was right behind me, a full ten feet into the forbidden zone!
I just don’t know what will happen when we put down the stone tile. I think there is a rift in the space-time continuum and the imaginary lines and the borders are gone!
It may be a whole new world for the Tommy-dog!
The Wedding
And a solid, good, well-planned reception.
We got off the boat at the Couer d'Alene golf course and took our seats. We were just at the edge of the beach, the lake forming a glistening backdrop. The hot sun beating down on us distracted us for a while. (Okay, so there were rivulets of sweat pouring down my back and chest)
Then the bride arrived, looking pretty and happy. The ceremony started and the Minister sped things up. He knew we were wilting in the heat.
It was a beautiful ceremony. Hard to pin down what made it so good, but it just was.
And then we were off to the reception just up the hill. Nice shade in the huge canopy. A cold beer in my hand and I was feeling a little better. Time to mingle, get some food, sit back and look at the smiling people. Especially the bride and groom. It’s so nice to see two people who were so looking forward to their life together. And because everything was going well, they could enjoy their day.
They are smart, good-looking kids. And they look good together. It’s funny how people compare the bride to Barbie, but she does look the part. Hmmm…no one compared the groom to a Ken doll. You know, I cannot remember what the Ken doll looked like.
But I digress.
Anyway, just a wonderful day. I am glad that things went well.
Don't Even!
Don’t Even be jealous of our authentic, rustic, plank flooring! (complete with black tarpaper spots)
Wonderful looking, isn’t it. Maybe I should just put a coat of varnish on it?
Well, here is the story. About four weeks ago, the lazy-susan began to stick a little. I thought it just needed adjusting, but when I looked closer, I saw mold inside the cabinet. Not supposed to be there.
So I pulled off the lower panel of the dishwasher and saw where water had been leaking. Traced it up to the soap dispenser. When I pulled the dispenser off, I could see where the O-ring was falling apart. So off to the garage and look in my plumbing parts drawer. Sure enough, I had an O-ring that was just the right size. Within a half hour the thing was fixed.
Wonder-Girl was a little disappointed that I was able to fix it, she said wanted a new dishwasher. (ours is ten years old)
The vinyl flooring was spongy so Wonder-Girl began pulling it up and found water under it. The underlayment was also wet and falling apart. Okay, so it is time for a new floor.
It did bother me that there was evidence of a lot of water. More than I could account for by the little leak in front.
The O-ring held for about a week, then it began to drip again. I told Wonder-Girl that I was not going to try and fix it again and trust it not to leak. Let’s just get a new dishwasher. (that made her happy)
So when I pulled out the dishwasher, I found that there was another leak at the drain in the wall. Our dishwasher has it’s own drain since it is too far from the sink.
And I find that there was a recall on our dishwasher because of the front leak. Seems that Maytag has had a few catch fire. The nice thing is that we will get $75 off the new dishwasher.
So three weeks ago, we tear up the old underlayment. I am sure that you know what that is like! It took us two days. I kept pressuring Wonder-Girl to choose between vinyl flooring or ceramic tile. I needed to know so I could buy the right underlayment.
Wonder-Girl made her decision, tile, and we bought a bunch of Hardi-back and I spent last weekend putting that down. And we put down tar paper again as a moisture barrier. It worked really well before.
We were supposed to leave for vacation on the Friday, but we postponed it till Monday. That gave me the weekend to get the underlayment down.
Monday morning, jump in the car and drive 900 miles to Spokane, Washington. (okay, we did it in two days. I didn’t want to drive 16 hours in one day!)
So we fled the floor and it’s problems. We can forget about it as we watch the preparations for our niece's wedding.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Hydrant Collection

My Brother in Law refurbishesold fire hydrants.
(only for special people).
I guess we qualify,
since he gave us one this trip.


Wonder-Girl already has a place for it in our front yard.
Maybe we will make it into a fountain, maybe not.
We shall see.
Anyway, here are some that he has finished
and a few he is still working on.



Sunday, July 22, 2007
Girl's day
Seriously folks, we guys are so not worried about things. It their food? Are there cold things to drink? Here is the bride, here is the groom, there is the minister. Okay, everything is okay.
Yes, extra touches can make things go a little better. A little makeup makes the bride a little prettier. But she is already pretty. The groom is handsome. They are both nice people.
I am always amused by the fuss. I can sit here and look back over my 26 years of marriage; the wedding is the easy part and is only one day. If you think it’s that important, it is not. The important things are the work you put into a marriage, day in and day out.
So I do enjoy watching all the fuss.
Five hours to go.
I am relaxed. Our only job was to deliver the wedding dress. That is done and the responsibility is off our shoulders.
I need to take pictures.
I need to have fun
Such a tough assignment.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
In the North
Well, we made it to Spokane. Two days, sixteen hours of driving, average speed almost 60MPH(95kph) That include stops for coffee, snacks and dinner.
The nice thing is that there were plenty of places where I could take the car up to 80(125 kph)
I suppose we(I) could have driven straight through, but it is much easier to do thirteen hours in one day, then an easy three the next. But I know if had done that, we would have arrived at 1am and been a complete zombie for a day or two.
We are all here for the nieces wedding. WaterMan and QotFN’s youngest daughter is getting married on Sunday. Looks like over 200 guests!. An Aunt and Uncle fly in this afternoon, the daughters arrive tonight, it will be a full house!
Lucky us, we are camped out in the 35-foot motorhome. While everyone inside will be frantic with wedding preparations and eight people fighting for three bathrooms, we have our own quiet bedroom, private bath, little kitchen (with a coffee maker)and couch to relax in. I tell you, we have the best place!
You can never fault QotFN on her hospitality. The little fridge is stocked with beer, wine, sodas. Why there is even a little candy dish with chocolate bars! Life will be too easy.
The other fun thing to do is watch the last minute scramble of wedding preparations. All we have to do is show up, so out part is easy.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Here they come again?
I know why I had it, they have been on my mind these last few weeks. There was reunion party last weekend. A lot of my former coworkers we getting together.
I just couldn’t go. Part of me wanted to see them, part of me dreaded what it would do to me.
Because this is what I went through, as I watched my friends disappear, as they slowly closed the plant
==
DREAM THREE
4/29/02
I was at work and there was trouble. Accountants were scurrying around, trying to do things. The FBI, or someone like that, was investigating the company. There were discrepancies in the accounts and lots of money was missing. The main area of cubicles where this was taking place was right where my friend Lois worked. I tried circling the area, to try and see her. Maybe just so that she could see that I was there and was concerned. I know I could not go and talk to her. If I did, then I would be under suspicion.
One by one, the authorities would take someone to a conference room across the main hall and they would interrogate this person.
Again I circled the area of cubicles, but could not see my friend. I thought of sending her an email, just to let her know that I was nearby, but that would cast suspicion on me.
My friend had nothing to do with accounting, but she worked near them. I was sure that if they started looking at me, they would find something wrong. Maybe I made a mistake on an expense report. Maybe I slightly exceeded my authority on some matter. It didn’t matter what the little transgression was, they would hunt until they found one and I would be cast out like all the rest. It was a regular witch hunt.
The dream shifted, and I was talking to some woman who was the cause of all the problems. I knew she caused everything bad and that she was evil. I was looking around for one of the authorities, someone I could denounce her to. There was no one around and then the woman pulled out a gun and said she was going to start making her coworkers pay for not standing by her. I started talking to her, trying to convince her that not everyone was against her. I somehow convinced her that I was still her friend and that I would never do anything to allow her to be captured.
I do not remember exactly what happened next in the dream, but somehow we ended up back at my house.
The police had followed us and were trying to break down the front door. This woman handed me the small gun she had and then pulled out a larger one from her purse. She screamed that they would never get her, pulled open the closet door and dove for the hidden door in the back of the closet. This secret door led to the basement room. I followed her and when I looked through the secret door, this woman was on the table in the basement, crouched like a cat, gun pointing towards me. I could see my wife slumped on the floor, blood pooling next to her shoulder.
There was no more time to reason with this woman. I stepped back from the doorway, yelled something and emptied my gun into the wall. Then I jumped through the door, yelling that my gun was empty and that they were coming. I yelled that I needed more ammunition to hold them off.
This woman, who now began to look like this neurotic woman that my wife worked with in Reno; handed me her gun and wrapped her arms around me. I emptied my gun at the wall, to get the police’s attention. No one came to the doorway to help and I felt her grip tighten on me. I was now in serious trouble. I felt her clothes melt away. She was bleached white under her clothes and on her back was a set of black leathery wings. As she bit into my neck, I realized that she was a succubus and that I was moments away from having all my strength drained from me. If I didn’t call out for help, then no one would be able to save my wife.
I struggled to cry out, but could not. Finally, I managed to pull her arms off of me and push her back from me. She glared at me and hissed like a cat. I could barely hold her off as I struggled with all my might to scream!
Finally, I managed to scream!
And my wife was shaking me and telling me that it was okay and it was all some kind of bad dream.
I had cried out in my sleep and awakened her. I don’t think that I have ever done that before. I told her a little of the end of the dream and we snuggled together and she drifted back to sleep.
I have not been able to sleep. The headache I went to sleep with is still there. So I got up, took three more aspirin and decided to write it all down. Maybe then I would be able to go back to bed and sleep.
(As they began the slow shut down of the factory, I watched helplessly as all my friends, people I had known for twenty years, were slowly cut away and discarded. I had dreams like this for the six months leading up to the closure and then for almost two years after that. I don’t know how they all reacted to the closing, but I felt like the only person on the Titanic who had the one lifeboat. Six years have gone by and only recently did I finally have a nice dream about my old coworkers.)
Not even 28 days later.
I waited until the next weekend before I took the mesh off the downspout. Out dropped a little desiccated lump. Easily picked up with gloves and dropped into the nearby garbage can
No fuss, no muss. No more rat.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
The Lonely boy
So it’s just the boys. Not so much a problem for me, but Tommy knew something was up when we left for the airport last night. When I got home without WG, well, the little guy was kinda of moping around the house.
He is used to monitoring WG.
And you know, when she gets back, he will snub her for a day or so. I mean, how dare she! Who will give him extra love, and snacks? Mostly the snacks.
I just talked to her and it’s 69 degrees up there, 90 on my back deck. Amusing how I am sure that she wishes I was with her if only to keep her warm at night! Me, I don’t mind too much, it is far too hot for hugs and snuggles!
Got a chance to chat with Danger-Girl last night. Haven’t communicated much since my visit to Cebu. I think it’s a little amusing that only recently did I stumble across her email and IM address. Tidbits get left out there in the ether.
She seriously needs to put some more words down on the web. How else are we supposed to live precariously through her?
Lest you think I am now a man of leisure, you don’t know the powers that conspire against me!
Last Sunday, as we were unloading stones from my truck, Chemical-Girl came over and asked if she could help us. (She is such a devious creature)
When we were done, she grabbed a beer from her garage and came over to sit and chat on our back deck.
By the time I joined them, there was a hint of conspiracy in the air.
Later, after she had gone home, WG told me that she mentioned that she would be out of town, to CG. You know what, CG said, ‘I have a few project to do, can I borrow your husband?’
WG said, ‘Sure, just have him back by Tuesday.’
Why do you think I am glad that some of my female friends live so far away. I have too much to do already! I seriously don’t need to be lent out like some piece of farm machinery!
Add that to the ‘hints’ of things that WG wants me to do. No, there will be no rest for the wicked.
Add this heat to that and I will seriously not get any fun things done. Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun.
My dog isn’t mad, and I only have a little English in me. I’ll stay inside when it’s hot.
At least Tommy gets his morning walks.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Today I saw somebody
She walked like you do.
I thought it was you.
Okay, it’s not quite like the song; but the other day I ran into someone’s almost double. (if she had really been a doppelganger, I would have left.)
I was waiting to get my haircut and I had just been called to the chair by the stylist. When I looked at her, she seemed familiar.
Dark hair, good looking, nice smile. Wearing blue jeans and a button-down, loose fitting, long sleeved shirt.
Something about her seemed familiar. I studied her in the mirror as she asked about how I wanted my hair cut.
Hmmm…face is similar, but more from the profile. Similar petite frame at about five-three or four. Black hair and naturally tanned skin.
Similar, as if she was a sister or a cousin. But that wasn’t what completed the picture.
Have you ever met someone who has a vibe, or aura around them? Something that tells you; yes, she could rock your world! It funny how some people exude a sensuality and I suspect that they don’t even know it. Even stranger is the people who seem to lack any sensuality about themselves. Stranger still are the ones who are perhaps extremely good looking, but you get no vibe from them. That indicates they would be as exciting as a dead fish.
And that’s what completed the picture. For this stylist had the same aura of sensuality about her that my friend has. (and no, I will not even give you a hint as to who she is. That would seriously embarrass her.)
And that is the interesting part. For like this stylist, my friend is an attractive woman. But what makes her much more attractive than someone who is better looking, is the vibe she gives off.
And that can make all the difference in the world.
Twenty-eight Days Later
A roof rat!
Now we don’t get them very often, but once in a while, one tries to make a home in our yard. And I (with Tommy’s help) do my best to discourage it.
I have mentioned them before and how they are attracted to things like vegetable gardens.
We have a vegetable garden and I don’t want the bastard (assuming it is male, of course) eating our tomatoes.
Now I don’t know that I could coax him out of the downspout and if I could, I was probably not fast enough to whack him with a shovel. Now I could put the Tommy-dog on guard, but I doubt he is fast enough either.
So I did the only other sensible things. I went to my workbench and grabbed some three-inch deck screws. Now I knew that the top of the downspout was plugged by a wire mesh device meant to keep leaves from getting into the downspout and to keep the occasional rat from getting onto the roof. (they don’t call them roof-rats for nothing)
Now I used to keep little wire mesh plugs at the bottom of the downspouts, to keep the little bastards off the roof. I don’t worry as much now since I found the last secret entrance to the attic and I have plugged that up!
So I grabbed the old mesh plug and stuck it into the bottom of the downspout. Two deck screw driven through the aluminum downspout to hold the mesh in place and the little bastard was now stuck inside the downspout.
Now I am sure that the lunatics at PETA would be incensed, but this has now become a little experiment.
How long with the little bastard live?
We shall find out.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Secret Names
Why the secret name? Because if someone knew your secret name, they had power over you. Spells could be cast against you.
Today, we no longer believe in such nonsense, but perhaps we should?
For nicknames are now the secret names. Know your friend's nickname and maybe you can find them on the web.
I am sure that all of you, at one time or another, have Googled your own name. And if your name is even slightly common, you get 20,000 places to look. So if you want to find yourself, Google is not the place to look.
There have already been problems where someone applies for a position and they are turned down because someone Googled their name and saw the person drunk and acting stupid.
You are safe if you have a common name. Not safe if someone knows your nickname. Or, if you have a special, unusual email/social networking name.
Makes me wonder what might be out there. What secrets do my friends have hidden on the web? What parts of their soul have they bared?
And do I want to know?
And should I tell anyone if I find it?
