Stones

Pain is sometimes good, I tell myself as I look over the concrete pad, half covered in stones.
Only a little left to do, 6-8 hours? Can my knees take it?
They have to, for there is no other to do the work. (WG’s knees can’t.)
All the tools are lined up, the mortar is mixed. I start.

I kneel next to the blue-gray flagstones, all carefully fitted, and move them out of the way.
Several scoops of mortar, smooth it, place the stone. Tap, adjust, level, ready for the next stone.
Wince
My knees complained from the first moment I knelt. The left one screams at me if I twist it too far. The three Motrin I took with breakfast only dull the screams a little. The four I’ll take with lunch will keep the bastard quiet.

Tap, adjust, level, ready for the next stone.
Wince.

But it is really okay. The aches that start in my knees make me forget my other aches. No time to think about what might have happened at the convention in Vegas, what she might have done. You know that some drama-queen saw them together, put two and two together and came up with eight.
As word spread from DQ to DQ, the drama increased.

I shift my focus back to what I am doing. When you swing a rock hammer, you have to pay attention. Thumbs don’t take kindly to being whacked by a sharp edged hammer. And who wants bloodstains on the rocks?

So I ignore the lies I heard and concentrate on the stones and my complaining knee.

And maybe I’ll forget about the phone too.
Forget that I am hoping for good news from the hospital.
Forget that I am dreading the bad news.

Tap, adjust, level, ready for the next stone.
Wince.


Two days later, my knees don’t bother me much and work keeps me occupied. But the coming phone call looms.

So I will laugh and flirt with you when I see you on IM. Maybe it brightens my mood a little, but I will not darken yours. So I will lie and tell you all is well. That’s the nice thing about IM, no one can see my face. I can easily pretend that I am doing okay.



It’s all about dealing with the next stone.
And the stones are mine alone. So I keep them to myself.