Gloomy

Well, it is official, a record breaking month. Twenty-three days of rain this month! Broke records going back over a hundred years. Not hard rain every day, but rain. Even harder was that on the days that didn’t have rain, most of them were overcast. It’s like living in freakin’ Seattle!

Last year at this time, we were getting ready to put in a garden.

Wonder Girl is afraid she’ll catch mold.

Military pigs

You just have to watch what you say around ex-military personnel, since they have a twisted view of life.

I mentioned to a coworker, that I was planning a trip to Cebu in a few months.
“Oh, looking forward to a game of ‘Smiles’? He grinned.
“No.” I have heard of the game from Navy guys.
“Lots of work planned and I am sure my friends will want to take me out for dinners, probably dancing.”
“Well, when you go up to the bar for a beer. Mention, in a loud voice, that you are a “Pilipino Cherry-boy” He said and grinned knowingly.
“I don’t think I like the sound of that, and I can guess at the meaning.”
“The bar girls will go crazy over you.” He said, with an even bigger grin.
“Like I need that. Anyway, I trust my lady friends to protect me from poachers.”
“I am sure they will.”

A bad weekend, a good weekend.

I guess when it rains, it pours. Saturday morning and I thought I’d have the Quaker granola cereal. It’s a little too chewy and crunchy than I like, but I like the flavor.
Well, halfway through the bowl, something on a tooth broke and had to spit out a piece of filling. Okay, a small chunk came out and it doesn’t hurt. No problem, call the dentist Monday morning and make an appointment. I am sure it’s time for a crown.

Saturday was the family party, ES was up from LA. Had a fun time and it was amusing to see what they did when my nephew opened the bean-bag chair and turned the playroom into a Styrofoam winter wonderland. Poor YB and his wife will be cleaning that up for weeks.

Got home to find the toilet backing up into the bathtub. So get out the snakes and do the plumbing thing. Nothing worked. Crawling under the house confirmed my conclusion, the main sewer line needed work.
So, to bed at 1:30 in the morning> I guess I had better call the plumber first thing Monday morning, dentist second.

Sunday was a visit to Aunt Obie-one. Forget your troubles. Yes, do the handyman thing there too, but simple stuff. Aunt Obie-one enjoys our visits and she is fun to talk to.

So, the plumber was here for three hours Monday morning, but the sewer works properly and the tree roots are all gone. Wednesday, go see Dr drill-and-fill; see what the damage is.

After the bathroom ceiling mess, now the motorized snake mess. Yes, WG and I are tired of the bathroom problems and cleaning up afterwards. Well, I guess a little painting never hurt, again.

Wiping Mom’s butt.

A week ago I went to visit mom. Say hi and do the handyman thing. It was a pretty good visit, once she got past the latest ‘issues’. The big thing was to replace the wax seal under the toilet. It was leaking a little and I was hoping for an easy job. It went okay, but as I was cleaning up the stuff that leaked, I thought, ‘This is like wiping my mom’s butt.’ I was amused because that’s a parents job when they take care of their little kids. I guess it was now my turn to return the favor.
The toilet job went fast and easy and that left more time for chit-chat as I fixed a few items and determined the vacuum was toast.

All in all, a good visit.

Dear Doctor M. Part 2, Flu

Dear Doctor M.,
If I catch the bird flu, can I still eat chicken soup? Or will it make sicker?

My not to bright friend has stopped drinking bottled water because of all the reports he has heard on the Evian flu.

Ask Dr. M Conversation

The conversation went like this.

Dear Doctor M.

My friend says that peoples actions are just driven by hormones. Is this
true, or does he just have delusions of glandular?
--
OB says "I think that should be 'effusions of glandular'."

And I answered, 'Only if the guy is Egotesticle.'

Lost in non-translation II

The tall guy said to me, “Good morning shorty.”
I glanced at his 6’6” height, It’s kinda nice to feel small.
“What does that make me?” Said the cute little young lady next to me.
“Pipsqueak.” I said.
She pondered the name for a second. “Okay, I like that.”
So Pip was named.

Now if this happened back at the ‘Z’ place I used to work, my friends would have said things like;
“Pip squeak? Wouldn’t a pip moan be better?”

But they were pigs.

Lost in non-translation

Amusing how conversations can mean different things to different people. It’s even more fun when you see your own conversation and know how others would react to it.

If you are lucky, you can steer a conversation down the sidewalk, then with just the right phrase, people’s minds go right off the curb and into the gutter. And you continue down the sidewalk, leaving the pigs to sputter in the gutter.

But you have to know exactly who you are speaking to, to understand what they mean.

So if you were to monitor my IM chat, you would see her plea…
“I am kneeling before you, subservient.”

And I know that all of your minds will go plunging into the gutter.

But all she was saying was, ‘I am very sorry, can you forgive me?’