Women don’t know

We were watching ‘what not to wear’ the other day and there was this odd looking woman on the show. WG said ‘If she plucked her brows, she could be a knockout.’
‘No.’ I answered, ‘she could never be a knockout.’ WG gave me a funny look. I didn’t add that the gal could not be a knockout even if you double-bagged her and turned the lights out. And the fact that you could use her eyebrows for paint brushes had nothing to do with it.

Oh don’t even start with me. You all know people that you find attractive and those you don’t. But have you ever thought of why you do or don’t?

The next day we were talking about Skinner and WG said, ‘Well, she’s not very attractive.’
I didn’t say a word. Women never like to be contradicted in this situation.
Skinner is very attractive. Though sometimes, cameras catch her in a less than attractive light.

And I can tell you the quick one-word reason for the difference between these two women. Proportion.
The first woman had a body shape that was just…well wrong. Nothing fit, flowed, or worked. Legs too long for her body, posture sucks. (Okay, and her face was seriously not worth looking twice at.) Plucking her eyebrows wouldn’t change a thing.
Skinner, though petite, has everything in approximately the correct proportions.

And women can never see this. The will get stuck on eyebrows, or breasts. Sorry, they really don’t matter that much.
Is she proportional? Does she have the .7 hips to waist ratio? Is her face symmetrical?

Oh, my personal preference, does she have a good smile? Is there a hint of an impish sense of humor? Can you see the intelligence in her eyes? And when she smiles, do her eyes sparkle?

So remember ladies, you don’t know what we find attractive. And if we find you attractive, shut up and don’t negate it. Nothing is more annoying!

Not a kid anymore

A small vacation and we are painting part of the outside of the house. Just the eves and trim. The walls will be easier and later.
I bought US a pressure washer to scrub the walls. WG has already found other uses for it. She will soon be able to scrub down all kinds of stuff in the backyard. Deck, driveway, fish pond. She will have fun with it.
But right now it’s all climbing ladders and painting under the eves. It is slow work have it sure makes your hands, neck and back tired.
Since I am a little younger than WG, it does take quite the toll on me that it takes on her. But it is not a big difference.
I do agree with her, that next time, we will hire it done.
We aren’t kids anymore and ten years from now, we will be even less.

A Muse to amuse

Sometimes, the Muse climbs up my back, parks her cute little butt on my shoulder and starts to whisper in my ear.
If I have time, I can listen, mull over what she says, play with the ideas and then weave the story.
If I am really lucky, I can get it written down.

Alas, at times I can’t concentrate on the Muse. And when I finally have the time to think it over and write it down, the story idea is incomplete. No matter what I do, I just can’t get the ideas to weave together.
And you can’t force a Muse.
And I am stuck with a fragment…

Green Eyed Monster

In the warm humid night, a dark shape glided down onto the roof. The sylph-like figure climbed onto the parapet at the edge of the roof and hunkered down. Her sharp talons dug into the cement and she balanced effortlessly on the thin edge. Her glowing eyes scanned the night sky. Lori was hungry, always hungry, but she waited, motionless, patient.

She did not have long to wait. For within the hour, she saw a shape coming across the night sky. Dark against the starry sky, the shape flew silently.
‘I told them we had to watch.’ She thought to herself. ‘What good is power unless you exercise it occasionally? If you don’t, they will doubt your power.’ She smiled to herself, as she watches the dark shape fly closer.

Still motionless and undetected, only her eyes moved as she tracked the shape as it slowly glided down towards the hotel below. It appeared to almost stop in mid-air, then alight on the balcony wall. Then she smiled as the shape almost lost its balance and half fell onto the balcony.
“Amateur.” She hissed derisively as she stood and unfurled her dark leathery wings. She effortlessly launched herself off the parapet.

The young man didn’t hear the thump on his balcony, nor the noise of the sliding glass door slowly opening. He stirred a little, when a wing thumped into the door frame, but continued to sleep.

‘Foolish mortal.’ Nuby thought as she came through the doorway. ‘Leaving your door unlocked made it too easy.’ She walked slowly to the bed, her talons silent on the deep carpet. He was big and she would feast well tonight. She bent down and could sense their mark on him, smell where they had touched him. ‘It means nothing.’ She thought. ‘Your marks do not frighten me.’
His eyes suddenly opened and she met them, held them. “You are dreaming of a young woman in your room.” She commanded. His startled look was replaced by one of dreamy lust. She sat on the bed and let his eyes rove over her. “Embrace me.”
As he sat up and snaked his arms around her, she could feel his warmth, feel the life pulsing through him. Soon it would be hers.
She kissed him gently on the lips then moved her mouth over to his neck. “I doubt they even suspect.” She whispered to herself.

“I don’t suspect, I know!” A voice hissed behind her.
Startled, Nuby leaped to her feet and spun around, her wing scraping against the young man’s arm.
Lori’s arm was already in motion and her backhand cracked into the side of Nuby’s face. Stunned for a moment, she could not defend herself as Lori’s other hand, clenched into a tight fist, smashed into her jaw. Pain exploded through her head as she fell back on to the carpet.

Ignoring her adversary for a moment, Lori walked over to the dazed young man. She gently raised his chin until he was caught in her gaze.
“You had a strange dream tonight, nothing more. You will tell no one about it, for saying that you dreamt of us being in your room, well, it would embarrass all of us.” He nodded.
Lori noticed that he had a cut on his arm and that there was a thin trickle of blood oozing down his arm.
“A cut here is more dangerous than you can imagine, my friend.” She said as she leaned forward and licked the blood off his arm, savoring the warm salty taste.
“Mmmm…the taste of you on my lips always thrills me. But now is not the time and I will have to be patient. Lie down, go to sleep.”
As he did as he was told, she turned her attention to the poacher who was still lying stunned on the floor. She reached down and despite her slim build, pulled Nuby to her feet.

(seriously needs more work)

Annoying the Sylphid

The Sylphid how are u?
GW Hogg Working hard, as usual. Flirting with the 'second-hand-night-creatures' :-)
The Sylphid dang! flirting huh?! tsk tsk
GW Hogg what is so wrong with that?
The Sylphid I am soooo not hearing this. You don't ever do that to second-hand night creatures. Only to the original ones :P
GW Hogg oh, so now you're turning into a 'green-eyed monster'? :-)
The Sylphid it's right now dark green
GW Hogg 'Green-eyed Angel', dark green because she is an Angel with a smudge? And I am safe from her, thousands of miles away. :-)
The Sylphid u just wait when we meet again
GW Hogg I am not worried. For when we meet again, my smile will melt your anger. :-)
The Sylphid bwhahahahhah
The Sylphid you are confident are you? hehehhehe
GW Hogg yes, I am

--
It is so much fun chatting with friends. I can pretend that I am paying attention to another and my friend will pretend that she is jealous.

Hmmm…I wonder if I can fold this into the other ‘Night Creature-Vampire tidbits?

And you wonder where I get my ideas from.

Answers and questions

People spend serious time dealing with silly questions.

The answer is, it makes a sound, not a noise.

You don’t even have to be a scientist to know this. Any English teacher can tell you this answer.

The other silly part is, who cares? Did the tree fall on you and hurt you? No, because no one was there. So who cares?
And yet, I am sure there are Philosophy majors that can waste endless time debating such a silly question.

If I am going to waste time trying to puzzle something out, it needs to have some meaning. Some consequence.

So when I can’t sleep at night, or I am relaxing on my back deck, I’ll sit and wonder; what did she really mean when she said,
‘I only give lip service to oral sex.’

Amore

How does one tell what kind of eel it was that bit him?

If an eel swims you by
And takes a bite of your thigh
That’s a Moray.

I was thinking (I know, dangerous for me to do), as I was reading some stories recently. It occurred to me how most vampire stories have the person being bitten on the neck. You know that no doctor today would ever say, “Strange these two marks on her jugular vein. I wonder what caused them?”
Everybody knows what caused them!
And by now, any sensible vampire would bite a victim anywhere but on the neck.
If we add to this mix that a hundred years ago, an embrace with a kiss on the neck was pretty darned erotic. (Okay, if WG kisses me on the neck, that’s pretty darned erotic! But I digress)
If someone wants to make their vampire story racier, they have to spice it up a little more. What better way than to have her kiss her victim on the thigh, a little higher, a little higher. And just when you think she will move to the main event, she takes a bite out of his thigh! After all, there is a nice big artery there.

So if I ever put the story together, you will wonder how the poor guy ever explain why there is this hole in his leg.

“I don’t really remember how it happened. One moment I was swimming in the ocean with my friends and I saw this eel. The next thing I remember, I awoke in the Doctors office while they were stitching me up.
I guess it was a Moray.”

But I still wonder, when the vampire bites, is that amore?

Not sure

Odd, but she seems nice.
Not sure who she is.
Barely know her.
But her smile bothers me.
Not a ‘Danger Will Robinson.’, but a whisper.
Quite, barely audible.

Danger, be careful.

Danger

Danger

Why?

You don’t know me

Isn’t it funny when you get a message on a networking site. The gal says she just moved to the area and was looking up people.
She says she saw my picture and thought I was cute.
And I should visit her page and send her a message.

But why would I want to contact someone who’s eyesight is so bad that they think this-


Is cute.

It’s always quiet here.

Not that I am complaining, but life goes along nice and uncomplicated.
The weekend was two beautiful spring days lined up together.

So we mowed lawns, trimmed some bushes. A little tightening of some fittings on the sprinkler system ran the sprinklers.

Some painting, moved the fireplace insert from the garage into the fireplace. It looks good! WG did a nice job cleaning and painting it.

Washed the dog.

Like I said, nice and quiet.

Now I could write every day, about my life, but I fear I would bore you.

Much more interesting to make things up, write them down and post them here. The only problem is that these postings are in reverse order. So what you see now is based on something written earlier. So if you don’t understand the contest, keep reading.

The Incurable Wound

It has been months since my trip to the islands. I still talk to my friends there, exchange emails, but something tells me that they had more of an effect of me than I realized.

Like most people, I dream. Perhaps unlike many, I remember my dreams. Some are odd, some erotic; but most are nice, pleasant, meaningless dreams. Since my return, however, I have been plagued by the most unsettling dreams. The odd thing is how similar they are. I dream that the three of us are together and that I am one of the three. It is weird seeing the world through her eyes, feeling her feelings. I have talked to many women over the years, but none have ever expressed feelings like the ones I remember her having.
Most involved the trio being out at night. Walking through darkened parks, dancing at clubs; and meeting men.
Usually that’s all there is to the dreams, at least that’s all I can remember. That is until this last one.
It is early afternoon right now. I am sitting on my deck and enjoying the warm sunshine. And yet, the thought of the dream gives me a chill.

And the dream started like this-
She is walking through the park, on her way home from a night at the clubs. Her two friends have gone in the other direction, back to their homes. Now a young lady should not be walking through the dark park by herself, but she feels no fear. Despite the darkness, she can see everything. She also knows there is someone behind her. For not only can she hear his light footsteps, she can feel his presence.
The path curves ahead and behind. She cannot be seen by anyone, so she melts into the shadow of a small bush. Moments later, she sees him come round the curve of the path. Tall, strong, handsome, she can see the confidence in his stride. She can feel his manliness emanating from him. She smiles to herself, as she feels the lust well up inside her. Her heart quickens and she knows the aching hunger inside her will soon be satisfied.
When he is almost upon her, she steps from the shadows and blocks his path. He is startled, but only for a moment. He remembers her from the club, bright smile and a hunger in her eyes. He knows what she wants, knows she wants it from him, as all women do. With supreme confidence, he walks up to her and wraps his arms around her. She wraps herself around him, pulling him close. Lips meet, travel; hands roam, their breathing quickens.
She pulls away for a moment and looks him in the eyes. The dark blackness sucks him in and he feels his will leaving him.
“You cannot resist me.” She whispers and he is lost.
Immobilized, he no longer comprehends what is happening. Barely notices as she sinks down to her knees. Roughly, she pulls his pants down and feels along his thigh until her fingers feel the pulse of the large artery. Overcome by lust, she sinks her teeth into his leg, ripping out a chunk of his hot flesh.
Only a small gasp escapes his lips.
She spits out the chunk of flesh and hungrily fastens her lips to the gaping wound. As she gulps down the warm salty blood, the feeling of ecstasy consumes her.

Sometime later, her mind slowly clears. She is standing over the now lifeless shell of what was once a young man. She licks her lips and savors the last tasty drops of his blood. She let herself get carried away again. Took it all, instead of just what she needed. But she knows she will not have to feed again for a long time.

Effortlessly, she lifts him up and carries him deeper into the dark park. She stops by a manhole cover and drops him. She easily pulls off the heavy iron cover and looks down into the city sewer. A good place for the likes of him, she thinks. She then reaches into her purse and pulls out a wicked looking knife. “I don’t want you coming back and hunting in my territory.” She says.
With deft skill, she cuts through his neck and then snaps the spine. First, the body is thrown down into the sewer, then the head follows. She easily places the heavy cover back over the manhole and nonchalantly heads for home.


And as I sit here on my deck, sipping a cold beer, I try to understand what the dreams mean. I am afraid that they are somehow related to the small wound on my leg. The wound that never seems to heal, but always stays an angry red.
But most of all, I fear what may happen to me if I ever go back to the islands and see my friend.

Night Creatures in the daylight

Once upon a midnight dreary,
while I pondered weak and weary,
over many an ancient volume of forgotten Shaoi lor
--

I have been reading some old vampire stories from 1850 to1900. Some were hard to read, because of how the language is used; but most were surprisingly good.

One of the interesting aspects was that in several stories, vampires would be out during the day. Interesting how the legends and myths have differences, we accept the ‘current’ ideas in the film and books; perhaps never knowing the other ideas.

So then, if I decide to make up more interesting stories of my vampire friends, I can show them as out in the daylight?

This could make things interesting.

So, here is where it began.

When I got my first PC at work ( 1995, I still rue the day, since I was forced to move from MAC’s); the IT person said, “Give me a name for your computer. One that no one else will use.” I looked at my bulletin board and the birthday card that my Even-sister had sent me. “Warthog” I said.
The It person gave me a distasteful look. “Warthog?”
“You said to pick a name that no one else would use.”
“Okay.” She said.

Well, here is the card that started it.

(I'll see if I can get a better scan)

Year of the…whatever

Amusing, how you see one place say it’s the year pig, another says it’s the year of the boar. They say it as if there is no difference. I would be curious to know a better translation.
Different words carry different meaning.

Like the time, years ago, when a bunch my coworkers were looking over a copy of the Chinese zodiac and seeing what their year meant. Someone asked me the year I was born and when they looked it up, announced that it was the year of the rooster.
Then they looked up my friend Filet’s year. She read it and then turned to me and said, “Hey Warty, it says here that my best friend’s a cock!”

It took ten minutes for the laughter to die down.

Taking it to the next level.

I have always enjoyed jokes about people hearing voices and what the voices say.
--
The other day, NDN comes over to say hi and she is wearing a great T-shirt. It says,
I hear voices
And they don’t like you!

I immediately thought of this scenario:
There is a couple sitting in a café. She is breaking up with the guy and she says: “Honestly, it not you, it’s me.” Then she hits her head with the palm of her hand. “Actually, it’s the voices I hear. And they don’t like you!”
--
The other day we were visiting WG’s Aunt Obie. She said the doctor was a little concerned because her heart murmur was a little louder and he wanted to run some tests. She said didn’t even know she had a heart murmur.
“And you thought you were starting to hear voices!” I said. Aunt Obie had a good laugh over that one.

Chasing something?

If I lay here, if I just lay here.
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Snow Patrol

I like the song a lot; I can understand the feeling. Last week, this song woke me three different times. Not a good song to wake up to. For after I turned the alarm off, I rolled over and snuggled next to my wife. Could I just lie there? Let the world spin outside our door? It can wait. It’s so much better just lie there with my head next to hers, feel her warmth.
But of course I can’t. So I give her a little kiss on the cheek and say, “Good morning honey. It’s time to get up.”
She turns and looks at me through half opened eyes and smiles at me. A soft warm hug is shared, the world is still far away.

But the lines of the song haunt me on the dog walk. For I am not fully awake and my mind makes odd connections. One of those odd connections is to something an old friend of mine asked me almost two years ago. We were chatting on the phone and out of the blue she asked me-
“If I had asked you to marry me, would you have said yes?”
During the next two seconds, I had to jump back to a time long ago. I was what? Maybe nineteen? Twenty? How did I really feel about her?
“Yes, I would have.”
I don’t remember the next thing she said and the conversation shifted to something else.

But I felt a certain disquiet from her question, for it’s not something I ever thought about. When a relationship ends, it ends. You don’t sit and wonder about ‘might have been’, unless…

For you can endlessly wonder what would have happened if you asked the shy girl out? If you went left, not right? If she offered you a cup of coffee, instead of the glass of wine? All those times you made a choice, or a choice was made for you.

I haven’t thought much about what if’s, for my life has been good. And it continues to be good. All the choices I have made have lead me here, lying next to WG each morning, wishing the world would stay away for just a few more minutes, so I could enjoy just us.

The disquiet comes from the thought that my friend doesn’t might not feel the same as I, when she is lying next to her husband. I hope not, for I would like to think, hope, that she is as happy as I am.

And it would bother me immensely if I knew she was wondering if perhaps she should have asked me.

Don’t ask, I won’t tell

The other night, I dreamt I was staying at…, well let us just say the house of a certain female. And in this dream, in the middle of the night, she crawled into my bed; naked and glorious!
(I know that’s redundant. All women, when naked, are glorious. But I digress.)
Warm, and wonderful, I remember her pretty face. The warmth of her soft, smooth skin; the feel of her ample br...in my hands.
(okay, maybe not quite as ample in real life, but this is a dream.)

I was thinking about the dream, as I walked the dog this morning. This is one of those things that you just don’t tell a person. Especially her. For I am certain that if she knew I had a dream where we…, well she would probably spend the next few hours trying to scrub off the imaginary taint of where I might have touched her.

What is most amusing is that she was the subject of a dream. For in real life, it would never happen. I am just not her type. But that’s okay. It’s better that way. We know who we are. We know and respect each other’s personal boundaries, know which lines we will never cross. And is because of them, we can be friends. Friends without all that sex stuff getting in the way.

Which means we can be friends for a long time.

Darkness Never Falls

It can be fun to take little phrases, combine them is such a way, that they are twisted into something quite unexpected.

Take my friends I call my Night Creatures. I call them that, for they work by night on the graveyard shift.
Take also the phrase they have used when I hesitate to help them; ‘You know you can’t resist me!’
--
It was early evening, as I walked through the park to meet them. The hot tropical sun had just gone down and the shadows were coming out to play. As I watched the shadows grow I realized; darkness never falls. It slowly pools around the trees and shrubs, filling the low-lying areas. It fills the gaps between things and slowly obscures the ground. Soon the area along the path is hard to see, even if the sky still has a faint glow. The stars begin to come out as the land around slips into the night.
And then I see them, coming down the path. Smiles on their faces as they see me. Happy faces in the darkness. Hungry to see me, desiring my company. Their diaphanous gowns shroud their subtle curves and shapes. All dressed up to go someplace special. They were mysterious, when I asked them where they were taking me.

They seemed a little different, as they got closer, almost gliding along the path. Their smiles were a little different too. Subtle changes that I barely noticed.
Silently, they flowed closer; until they stood before me. My gaze swept over them and was caught by the small one’s eyes. Dark eyes, so much darker than I ever notice before. The black void sucked me in until all I could see was her eyes. Hungry for something. I tried to pull my gaze away, look at anything else. “You cannot resist me.” She said as she smiled. I couldn’t focus on her bright white smile, I only felt it. Felt the hunger emanating from her, waves of desire washed over me, augmented by the hunger from the other two.
They moved close to me and I felt their hands on me. One wrapped her arms around my waist and the other two put an arm around me.
“You cannot resist us.” She said as one hand slid up to my neck. She pulled my head down to her and I felt her lips on my neck. Strange, her lips felt cold.

The alarm slowly penetrated my stupor and my eyes resisted opening. Bright sunlight streamed through the hotel window and hurt my eyes. I crawled out of the bed and tried to stand. I wondered what I had drunk the night before; what caused me to feel so weak.
I stumbled to the bathroom and made a pot of coffee. While it brewed, I climbed into the shower. The hot water felt good but made me too relaxed. It made it cooler and that seemed to help me wake up.
I still felt weak, when I emerged from the shower. I poured myself some coffee, hoping it would wake me up.
Just as I was about to shave, I noticed two red welts on the inside of my arm. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that there were more welts on my other arm and my leg.
‘Damn!’ I thought. ‘Bedbugs!’ After all, what else could cause the bites on my skin.

I struggled to pack and then went down to the restaurant to have a late breakfast. I was feeling starved and ate much more then I should. Then it was back to my room and pack my last few things.
The rest of the day was a blur and hard to remember. I nodded off on the cab ride and again in the terminal. I was so glad to get onboard the airplane and sink into the oversized seat in business class. As I lay in my seat and sleep began to overtake me, I remembered something from the night before.

I was looking in her eyes, lost in their black void. I heard her say, “He will be mine.”
“We want him too.” Was their answer.
“He can only belong to one and I am the strongest.” Their silence was their assent.
She pulled her gown off one shoulder, exposing the strangely pale skin above her breast. With her other hand, she drew a sharp fingernail across her skin, cutting a slit in her skin. As the bright red blood flowed out of the wound, she grabbed my head and pulled me to her chest. I felt her blood on my lips, tasted the cool saltiness.
“Drink!” She commanded.
I drank, though I tried not to.
“Now,” she said, “you will be flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood.”

And darkness took me.

Two Scenarios

Odd event at Radio Shack
I was standing in line at the store and I noticed the young woman in front of me. She kept looking at someone/something behind me and to the left. It just seemed like she was nervous, maybe doing something she wasn’t supposed to. She was maybe late teens, early 20’s; 5’3”, Asian, black hair.
She paid cash for her GoPhone, one of those pre-paid phones.
She got her change from the two twenties and left. I paid for my battery and left.

As I was about to start my truck, I saw her come out of the store, followed by an older white guy. He didn’t come out with her, but after her. As if he did not want to be seen as ‘with her’.
He was a little grey haired, jeans and tee shirt. But he was too old looking to be with her and he didn’t look like her dad. He looked like a blue collar worker. She walked up to a white truck parked in front of me, it had the logo of an engineering firm on the door. He unlocked the door and she got in. Then he walked to the driver side and got in.
The whole thing just struck me as odd. Like somehow the two of them hooked up and he was buying her the phone. Like a ‘sugar daddy’. She gets a phone, he gets sex.
I think if he was the dad or a relative, then he would have been at the cash register with her; would have walked out with her.

Now maybe I am reading too much into this, but it seemed odd.

Car shopping
Two weeks later, my twenty-six year old niece called me up and asks me if I would help her shop for a car. Sure.
We stopped at a dealership where I know the sales manager(aka Hunky. Hey, Wonder-Girl and her friends named him that, not me!). Just as I am introducing Niece to Hunky, Hunky’s wife, Coconut-Girl walks in. I make the introductions, then Coconut-Girl leaves.
My Niece ended up buying a nice used car from Hunky and I think we were treated pretty well. (I hate dealing with car buying, hate it, hate it.)
I was careful explaining who my Niece was, for I did not want people to think she was my ‘Niece’ and I the ‘Uncle’.

A week later, Wonder-Girl walks into her semi-monthly girls party. Coconut-girl walks right up to her and says, “So, who is Warty’s cute young girlfriend.”
They both laughed.
--
I think about the two scenarios and despite the possible similarities, I still get a bad vibe about the young lady in Radio Shack. Something there was not right.

Happy VD

Little Shrimp
Willow
Adventure Girl
HSGF
Filet
Skinner
Daughter-Twin
Pip
Danger Girl
(she whom I dare not name)

Just wanted to wish you all a Happy Valentine's day and let you know I am thinking of you.