Bastard!

So, at 3am, the Tommy dog began to bark. It barely registered and my sleepy mind was debating what to do when Wonder-Girl gave me a nudge. “Tommy’s barking.”
So I climbed out of bed and peered through the window blinds. No prowler in the backyard.
I meandered to the kitchen and looked out, no aliens on the front lawn. Tommy barked again.
Into the family room and Tommy is at the back door. He barks again. I look out into the backyard. No zombies. Tommy’s hackles are raised and he emits a low growl. I turn on the lights and notice a pair of beady eyes staring back at me from the lawn.
Damn, a raccoon! I know what Tommy is thinking, Intruder! But I don’t let Tommy out. I have heard stories that raccoons can be formidable opponents. And this one is about Tommy’s size.
I pet Tommy and calm him a little. When I look up, the raccoon is gone.
Most of the time, I never see what Tommy barks at. This time I saw the critter. We get squirrels all the time and cats. Sometimes an opossum.
Back to bed.

At 8am, I am my in my home office and working, when WG comes in all upset. ‘The fish are gone! All gone. Not a trace!”
“Damn, the bastard raccoon ate all the fish!” I go look at the little pond and there is no evidence of a disturbance. Just no fish.

Our son built the pond years ago and I helped him finish it. We had to change the water many times until the chemicals got leached out of the cement.
Some of the third dozen goldfish survived. Mostly. Over the next fifteen years, four fish made it. And they were pretty big, after fifteen years. One fat one was about six inches long! We cleaned the pond constantly. Added a filter a few years ago and a waterfall.
So we are pissed at the damn raccoon for eating our fish. I hope he gets a stomach ache!