Sunday, June 30, 2013

Black Years

It was last September, a month after our mom died, and I was talking to my twin sister. She said, "You know, next year is going to be another black year." "Yes, I know." For she and I are faced with the same things, almost. Our step-sister had metastatic breast cancer at the time and was getting worse. She had been fighting a heroic battle for years and was slowly losing. Our stepmom is fighting a different type of metastatic cancer, but for now, is holding her own. We share that and the sorrows to come. But I have another darkness flowing my way. Our beloved Tommy dog is now almost eighteen. A Border-collie-beagle, he has been a smart and loyal companion. But I know his days are numbered. I recently stopped taking him on his short morning walk, the walks we have done every morning for sixteen years. His back legs are weak, his front legs are arthritic and he has trouble walking without panting in pain. His mind, ears, and eyes are not as good. So I know that at some point, probably this year, his legs will give out, or something will break down. And then it will be time. Time for us to take the last ride to the vet, as I have done twice before with our other dogs. And it will be a blacker year for me, because I'll be the one to nod to the vet that it's time. Time to say goodbye. And I will cry for Tommy more than I'll cry for anyone else.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

A lot has happened.

And not so much. After being laid off from my job of twenty-seven years, and searching for a new one for a year, I became gainfully employed again. It has been interesting, learning a new job, meeting new people and trying to understand the mindset of people who have not spent their lives in a manufacturing environment. One thing I learned very quickly was to keep my mouth shut about my situation. We were about halfway through my period of unemployment when Wonder-Girl looked up at me one afternoon and said, “I am so glad you convinced me to pay off our house.” What happened was, as she was determining what to do with her inheritance, I offered this idea. (Now understand that her inheritance is hers. Whatever she wanted to do was fine by me. I fully trust her judgment and offered only one suggestion.) “I think it would be a good idea to pay off the house. This way, if you want to work, you can. If you don’t want to work, you can do that also.) So as we sat there, watching the weeks of my severance pay diminish, we knew we didn’t have to worry about the house. This became more important as we watched the housing market implode from everyone’s bad decisions and circumstances beyond their control. We knew several friends who had a divorce, loss of job, or sickness suddenly change their situation. Suddenly, the house they could afford was no longer affordable. Many lost their homes. Sure, a few did stupid things when they bought their houses near the peak of the market; some got terrible advice also. Wonder-Girl always said that she never wanted to take out another loan and use the house as collateral. Do nothing to endanger our home. And now I sit and talk to friends and coworkers who are suck where they are because they owe more on their house than it is worth. I find it best to commiserate with them on the market, the job opportunities, etc. I don’t tell them that I have not had to worry about a mortgage payment. No sense in gloating over the fact that we were both careful and lucky.